So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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