I heard we made out
Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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