Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
