He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
where am i from again
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
