U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
