Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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