Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(516): View more from New York

There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.

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(330): View more from Ohio

This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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(847): View more from Illinois

I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.

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(708): View more from Illinois

My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.

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(692): View more from

I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger

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(210): View more from Texas

And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.

(719): View more from Colorado

You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?

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