I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
