Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
