singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
