Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
