yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
