I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
