Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I need moral support for this bender
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize