you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
