ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
