The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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