Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
