If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
