i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
