I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
