his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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