I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
