She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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