i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
