You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize