I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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