You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
