I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
