he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
