Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize