Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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