I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize