Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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