Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize