you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
birth control should be required to get into college
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
