wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
