I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
