lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize