I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You smell like stripper and shame
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
