If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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