dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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