I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
