Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
