Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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