Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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