can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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