i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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