I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
