I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
