Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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