the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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