i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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