I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
