Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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