I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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