Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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